Out of Mind
by Kari Twilight Mist
Summary: RE-WRITTEN! Alternate Universe: Zuko wakes up on an unfamiliar ship with no memories of who he is. How will he fare when his past no longer clouds his memory? How will he fare when it comes back?
1. Wake Up Questions

**_Chapter 1_**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender**

**Out of Mind**

**This is re-written and I want to thank **Stingmon **for pointing out the major errors. Note to self: never post a story at 11 PM again.**

**Wake Up Questions**

_Zuko was angry. Zhao had put a major wrench in his search for the Avatar and was now taking his ship! His Uncle had left him alone to stew since he knew it was a lost cause to get him to lighten up. Suddenly he jolted upright at the sound of footsteps on deck. Quietly he got up and walked to the helm. He heard a hissing noise and looked out the window to see a familiar reptile-bird. _Pirates!_ Was his last thought before the ship exploded. As he hit the water he quickly shed his armor and grabbed a piece of wood nearby. He tried to kick back to the dock but the current had taken him out to sea. His head throbbed and felt heavy and the last thing he remembered before passing out was a large ship approaching with an Earth Kingdom insignia on the side._

******

I woke up with a groan. As I slowly began to gain consciousness I heard a masculine voice say "he's awake get the Captain!" then a shuffling noise and retreating footsteps. I cracked open my eyes and groaned again at the pain from the light. I saw the man who spoke turn to me and say "its OK son. I'm sure you're confused. You've been asleep for a while now. My name is Kirin. I'm the head healer on the ship" he smiled at me and I saw he was missing some teeth. He had tan skin and a bushy gray beard that reminded me of someone.

I was just about to ask him what happened when I heard footsteps approaching. A man in ornate green robes entered and Kirin stood up and saluted him. The man (whom I now assumed to be the Captain) said "finally he's awake! I have some questions for you. Who are you? How did you end up out at sea? What happened to cause your injuries?"

I frowned and furrowed my eyebrows then finally responded "I don't remember. I don't remember anything." It was true and it scared me.

"He had a big bump on his head Sir so I wouldn't be surprised that he has amnesia" Kirin said. The Captain grunted in response. Reflexively I reached behind my head and felt a large lump there.

_Amnesia? How did I get amnesia? Why me?!_ Some instinct inside me told me I needed answers to get a feel for my surroundings fast. "Where am I? Where did you find me? What was wrong with me?" I snapped.

Kirin made a soothing gesture with his hands and spoke in a tone one would use to gentle a raging ostrichhorse "you were found holding a piece of driftwood in the middle of the sea. You have burns, scratches, and bruises everywhere. You have a HUGE scar on your-" he was cut off with a sharp throat-clearing from the Captain. "I mean you have a few old injuries as well."

Once again my eyebrows furrowed. I noticed I had trouble opening one eye and my skin felt tighter there. _Huge old scar? Could it be on my-? _"Do you have a mirror?" I demanded.

The men exchanged wary glances but Kirin handed me a small mirror. Hesitantly I looked inside. I had sharp almost feminine features, golden eyes, cropped black hair that seemed new and milky skin except for the large ugly scar on half of my face. Suddenly I saw something:

_A pale arm with a fist full of flames grew quickly closer to my eye. It connected with a white-hot pain._

"What was that?" I whispered in a daze.

"Did you remember something?" the Captain asked.

"A flaming fist punching me then pain."

"Firebender." The Captain spat. "You're just a child what monster would do that?"

For some reason I felt an urge to defend the unknown owner of the arm but squashed it since it made no sense.

"Do you have any skill on a ship boy?" the Captain asked.

"Battle strategizing and navigation" I answered automatically.

"Heh sounds to me like you used to spend a lot of time with _your _Captain if you were on a ship" the man who had fetched the Captain said.

I gritted my teeth and was about to snap at him when the Captain beat me to it with "quiet Ching! The boy has been through enough without you saying anything!"

Ching looked ashamed and mumbled "sorry Sir." I noticed he didn't apologize to _me_ which made me ball my fist in anger. Before I could do anything the Captain sharply dismissed him.

"How good are you at fighting?" the Captain asked, ignoring Ching's comment as if he was never here.

"I'm pretty good I think." I vaguely remembered fighting someone with tattoos but I had no idea whom.

"Is he good enough to move?" the Captain asked Kirin.

"He still needs rest but if he doesn't work too strenuously he should be fine for now. He needs to have his bandages changed still."

"Alright then. Boy you're on swabbing duty. You'll have to pull your weight until we reach the next port on out way to Ba Sing Se."

"Yes Sir" I replied but hated doing it for some reason.

**I know I mentioned Zuko furrowing his eyebrowS a few times but remember he didn't know he only had one then. **


	2. Clean Up Your Act

**_Chapter 2_**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender**

**Out of Mind**

**Clean Up Your Act**

I was led by Ching who had been waiting outside the door to a supply room where I was handed a bucket and mop. He then passed me off to another man named Tojin who lead me up deck. "Have fun" he snickered then walked off. I glared at his retreating lanky form and felt an odd heat building in my body as my fists clenched.

Grumbling, I cleaned off the deck for a bit until I crashed into a mountain of a man. "Hey watch it!" he snarled in a deep, gravely voice.

"Move aside" I said with a glare. I was _not _in the mood to deal with him nicely.

"Why should I shrimp?" he asked and I saw red.

"Because if you don't you'll regret it" I yelled, causing many heads to turn and watch.

"You think you can take me?" Mountain Man chortled throwing his head back.

_Rookie mistake_ I thought. Grabbing the mop I shoved the hard end under his thrown-back chin causing him to fall on his rear. "Why you little brat!" he snarled then charged at me. Instinctively I flipped the mop and smacked him with the wet end. He blinked back the water and saw I wasn't in front of him anymore. I kicked him in between his shoulders from behind and he fell to the ground rolling. Quickly he got up and did a kick towards my head. I ducked down and jabbed the hard part of the mop in his groin and he fell like a rock howling in pain.

"What is going on?!" the Captain boomed.

"That boy just defeated Chin Li with a mop" one of the other men said.

"He defeated you with a WHAT?!" the Captain roared to Chin Li "you instruct the men on how to fight and this boy who is _half your size_ defeats you with a _mop_?!" I could see a vein pulsing in his head. I bit back a retort at his reference to my body being slight. He turned to me then and said in a forced calmness "Boy you're now in charge of training because _that_" he pointed to Chin Li "is just sad."

"Yes Sir" I said with a bow. As I rose I noticed the Captain looking at me oddly. Before I could ask him why he turned and walked off.

Later on when I was going to my new bunk I overheard a conversation between the Captain and Kirin. "But sir he can't be him it's impossible. Why would he be _here_ of all places if he was? It just can't be possible" Kirin said.

"He did the Fire Nation hand placement during his bow. He is an excellent fighter. He walks with perfect posture. He knows navigation. He has golden eyes. HALF HIS FACE IS BURNED! How could he NOT be-"

"Hey" I heard someone behind me say "are you going in there?"

"No" I said disappointed. Damn it why did he have to interrupt _then_?! Why did I have such horrible luck?! You would think someone with amnesia would get a break from the Spirits right? With a snarl I left to go to my bunk. I had gotten instructions on how to get there earlier and just hoped I didn't have a bad bunkmate.

Approaching the portal I hesitantly stepped inside. There was a man about my height and weight with tan skin and hair like a nest sitting on the bed meditating. I had a hazy recollection of doing so, only when I breathed the candles would flicker for some reason.

The man opened his eyes. "You must be my new bunkmate. My name's Pim. I'm a deckhand. I saw your fight. I wish I could fight that well. Is it true you have no idea who you are?"

"No" I muttered then got an idea. "Hey I overheard a conversation that I think might tell me who I am but it was interrupted. I was caught but I would like to know. Could you help with some reconnaissance?"

"What kind?" He asked suspiciously, his eyes narrowing to slits.

"There is a healer, Kirin, who was part of the conversation who thinks that the other person's idea" I left out the part that is was the Captain for fear of Pim thinking I wanted him to defy him "of who I am is ridiculous. Could you please find whom it would be crazy for me to be?"

"What's in it for me?"

"I'll give you private fighting lessons."

He paused considering but then said "deal." I could only hope this wouldn't come back to bite me.

**My first-ever action scene. I hope it didn't suck.**


	3. The Price Of Being A Prince

_**Chapter 3**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender**

**I have a Blogger now with teasers posted on it!**

**Out of Mind**

**The Price Of Being A Prince**

I felt far more tired than I thought I would be. Despite the fact that I was bunking with a total stranger I was too exhausted all of the sudden to fight against my heavy eyelids. I climbed onto my bunk and lay down. It seemed as soon as I closed my eyes I was commanded to open them by the rising sun. There was very little light in the room from a covered porthole window but I could feel the approaching sun as if it were right in my face. _I wonder why?_

I then heard the door creak open and I realized that Pim wasn't in the room any more. Sure enough Pim stepped in staggering a little. Despite the fact that he reeked of alcohol he looked very sober. "I found out you name" he spat at me.

"What is it?!" I asked impatiently.

"It's Zuko. _Prince_ Zuko of the _Fire Nation_" he spat the words "prince" and "Fire Nation" out like they were something vile-tasting on his tongue.

"No, I can't be." I didn't realize I said it aloud until he started laughing sneeringly.

"Oh you _are_. I can tell by the scar you're famous for. I hear your own father did it and banished you. And now you're nothing. Just some pathetic little boy who d-d-desperately wants d-daddy to l-love you again." He said the last sentence mockingly, pretending to be a blubbering sympathizer. There was ridicule and venom in his eyes though. "I hear you're a firebender too. It's a part of who you are. It must be Hell to fight it." Suddenly he pulled a knife from his sleeve. "Go a head and make me drop it. Make it so I can never hold it again. You know you want too. Of course it'll be the last thing you ever do but you aren't known for your good decisions Fire Brat."

I clenched my fists and rose to stand in front of him. Glaring violently I hissed scathingly "you want to fight me? You saw what I can do_ without _bending."

"I've heard what you can do too. Burning down villages. Hurting women and children. You truly are like your father: a monster."

"THEN WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER?!"

"Do you WANT to remember?" he challenged.

I roared and shoved him to the side. I knew it wasn't safe here anymore. I hit his head on the back of the metal door thus knocking him unconscious. I grabbed the knife and a small pouch of coins on his belt then ran down the hall. As stealthily as I could I entered the med ward and grabbed some bandages. Next I roamed the ship as quickly as possible finding a bag and some food. I made it to the deck and was loading a life raft when my luck ran out.

"There he is!" A man yelled pointing to me.

"Spirits damn this." I muttered then grabbed the bag and jumped overboard without the boat. The water was freezing so I worked on heating my body with my bending. To my surprise it worked. I stayed down as long as possible finding I had quite a good set of lungs._ I must have trained in this. _While I was down I swam away from the boat. When I resurfaced I saw an outline of land. Struggling with the cold and the bag I made slow work to the shore.

After what seemed like hours of exhausting strokes and kicks I tumbled to the beach. My whole body felt like it was on fire and my lungs couldn't seem to hold air anymore. I felt a heaviness creeping in again and just as I did I heard and oddly familiar female voice cry "Oh my goodness!" Then warm hands on my face. Then nothing.

**OK so apparently Pim decided to channel Jet this chapter for some reason. o.0**

"**Who is she?" I'm sure you are thinking. She is someone who SHOULD BE A TIED-UP LOOSE END! I will NOT let this go! (You will see what I mean when she is revealed.)**

**Also this isn't the last we will hear of the dear boat but Zuko wasn't on it long enough for some answers. It **_**will**_** be revisited though so closure will be gotten.**


	4. Reunion for the First Time

_**Chapter 4**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender**

**I have a Blogger now with teasers posted on it!**

**Out of Mind**

**Reunion for the First Time**

Once again I awoke to a pounding headache only this time the rest of my body ached too. I could feel a throbbing heaviness in my muscles. I opened my eyes and tried to lift my head but found I was too weak to lift it any more than half an inch before dropping it. Using what little movement I had I took in my surroundings. The roof above me looked like a cheap, worn wood. I slowly rotated my head to the left and saw the walls were made of the same wood and had no decorations. There was a shoddy-looking table with a worn cloth and a chipped vase with some dried wildflowers next to a cracked dirty window. I looked down and saw the floor was also the cheap wood with a worn bamboo rug covering the middle. I turned my head to the right noticing a doorway with no door that gave a glimpse into a room with a larger table with two chairs and some shelves with cheap bowls, cups, and a well-used pot. I realized that must be the kitchen so I was probably in the bedroom on a bed. I felt lumps under my back pricking me so I figured I was on an old straw mattress. I groaned out "Ugh... Where am I?" and a woman with an oval-shaped face, gold eyes, pale skin, and long dark hair pulled back loosely by a cloth strip walked in. I realized she looked a lot like what I saw in the mirror that first day.

"Oh you're up! You poor dear; I was strolling on the beach and saw you gasping for air. I couldn't in good conscience leave you lying there. I'm Kai Lin. Who are you?"

_That isn't her real name it's- _I thought but realized I couldn't remember her real name. All I knew is she looked so familiar and looking at her I felt comforted. I realized she wanted a name so I gave her the first one I could think of "Li. I'm Li. Thank you for helping me Kai Lin." I normally would have felt horrible to be helped like this but with her it felt _right_. Plus I had to play along until I remembered who she was. I was positive I knew her though.

"Can you move? You must be tired still."

I did my best to move and slowly –and painfully- managed to sit up only to hunch over in exhaustion. I lifted my torso again and took in her full appearance. She was wearing a worn brown dress with a green sash around her waist. On her feet were some small leather shoes that looked like they had seen better days. Despite that she seemed like she could be royalty- that thought was cut off with a memory.

_Mother why do turtleducks all swim in a line?_

_They know it's what their mother wants. If they follow her then she can protect her babies._

_Will you protect me?_

_Always my son, always. No matter what._

_Mother_ I thought then I gasped. "You… your name isn't Kai Lin its Ursa. Fire Lady Ursa!"

"What makes you think that? I'm an Earth Kingdom peasant I've never even been to the Fire Nation" she said like I was crazy. I knew I wasn't though.

"I know because of you face. I know because of your voice." I paused then said "I know because of the turtleducks we used to feed together."

She stared at me in shock then gasped "Zuko?!" and I nodded. She tackled me into a hug and started stroking the fuzz on my head. "What did you do to your hair?!"

I shifted uncomfortably and mumbled "I don't remember. I think whatever hair I had burned off in the explosion."

"Explosion? What explosion? And what do you mean you don't know?"

"I was in an explosion for some reason and hit my head. I woke up on an Earth Kingdom ship with amnesia."

She looked at me incredulously. "You... don't remember... anything?"

"My first memory was of someone punching me in the face with fire. I was later told it was my father."

I pulled out of the hug to see her face. I didn't think she was capable of looking that livid. "I'm going to kill him" she hissed. "He promised! He promised you would be safe!" She then broke down sobbing "how could he do that?! You're just a boy!"

I patted her awkwardly not knowing how to comfort her. I got the feeling I avoided physical contact like the plague as often as possible.

"How could all this have happened?" She asked sadly. "I'd heard stories he banished you but that was all. I just thought they were rumors." She turned to me with tear-filled eyes. "Oh Zuko I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault" I said. I figured it was true. Suddenly I felt like a little boy who needed to comfort his mother.** "**Do remember why turtleducks swim in a line?"

"So their mother can protect them." She said surprised I remembered the conversation. Her face then crumpled "but I failed."

"You weren't there to show me how to swim."

"But I am now" she smiled

**How many of you guessed Ursa? I know Zuko might be OOC but he's having flashbacks of his mother and that is all of the relationship with her he has to go on so that's how he'll act. Notice he does feel awkward doing it though.**


	5. Faceless Advice

_**Chapter 5**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender**

**I have a Blogger now with teasers posted on it!**

**Out of Mind**

**Faceless Advice**

"How long have you been here?" I asked curiously. It seemed like the house –if it could be called that- had some attempts made to it to make it homier.

"I've been living here for a year. I work as a seamstress in town" she admitted looking down.

"Why here? Where are we anyway?" I questioned in confusion.

"I've been nomadic. I was planning to leave soon since I've been here too long. As for where we are, we are in Houng Ji in the Earth Kingdom. It's a small town that very few know of."

"Then why do you want to leave? It sounds isolated enough and you have history here as a cover story." I was perplexed as to why she seemed like she wanted to leave soon.

"The Fire Nation army has been making raids. It is only a matter of time before I –or you now I suppose- am recognized. No it is better I leave.'"

"Can you bend?" I asked getting an idea.

"No. Why do you ask?" she seemed to know I was up to something.

"Well I know of one Fire Nation soldier who just decided your little home deserves to be burned" I said with an evil grin.

"Zuko… that's… that's genius! You could make it look like an unfair punishment and I could leave pretending to be distraught. We just need to get you out unseen" she was beaming that I had that idea.

"I'll take the light essentials in a sack after the 'tragic fire' and meet you…" I trailed off realizing I didn't know what anything looked like outside the 'house'.

"There is an old abandoned mill said to be haunted so no one goes near. No one will be there. Head north for about 2 miles then take the worn dirt road east until you reach the mill. You can't miss it. Light a fire and I'll meet you there at nightfall."

"When do you want to do this?" I asked.

"Now is a good a time as any." She walked up to the table where the cloth was underneath the flowers and took it then handed it to me. "Gather some light essentials from the kitchen I'll prepare myself."

I didn't ask what she meant but want to the kitchen and grabbed some hardened bread loaves and dried fish. I took a small pot and wooden spoon as well as some spark rocks –for appearances- and placed them on the cloth then tied it into a sack. I was still wobbly from my escape swim but I felt much better now.

Just then she walked into the kitchen her clothes and skin covered in ashes. Her hair was mostly unbound and teased into a look of urgent distress. What worried me though was the blood on her hands and random patches of skin. Seeing my distress she said "its bloodberry juice. Ironically it is used to cure burns." She handed me a waterskin and walked out the front door.

I stepped into the sunlight and saw grassy hills and scarce trees all around me. Down to my left the hills sloped to a beach where I must have been found. In the distance there was a silhouette of a small village against the sun. "That way is north" she said gesturing to a hill with a small tree on it. "I'll wait until you get to the tree before sounding the alert." She turned to the house and stroked the side wall then steeled herself "don't hold back. Make it look real."

I nodded and did some instinctual movements seeing fire shoot out form my hands for the first time in memory. I hurled it mercilessly towards the house at different areas to make it look like the work of more than one person then turned to her and nodded my head. Spinning on my heel I headed north until I reached the tree when I heard a distinctly feminine shriek of agony. _So it begins._

It took me until just before sunset to get to the mill and gather twigs and rocks to make a fire. I used the sparkrocks figuring I would have to get used to them. As I sat there I pondered what we would do where do would go. Would the Prince of the Fire Nation and Fire Lady be reduced to begging? _No!_ I thought firmly._ I won't allow it! _Just then I heard footsteps approaching. I got up into a fighting stance prepared to defend myself if needed.

"Calm down dear it's just me" my mother said. I grimaced at being called 'dear' but relaxed my stance. I pulled out a loaf of bread and broke it in half handing half to her. "I got some money from the villagers to help me on my journey."

"I don't want to beg" I growled.

"Zuko do not take that tone with me young man!" she said wagging a finger at me with a scowl on her face. "Let's face facts, we might _need to_ in the future unless you can come up with a solution."

I grunted in response. "Where are we headed?"

"Following the Xi Wang River we should reach several towns as we head southwest."

"You mean in the direction we just came from?!" I asked more than a little annoyed.

She glared and said tartly, "through a pass. We will go in a roundabout way to the village and not be seen."

I grunted again and told her I would keep first watch while she slept. She went to a nearby stream and washed up before returning and drowsily scolding "don't be up too late. I can keep watch too." Risking her wrath I let her sleep through the night. I wasn't tired anyway, still keyed up with the thoughts of our journey.

*-*-*

"I still say we should have taken the left pass" I grumbled as I recovered from a near-fall off a cliff along the narrow ravine. She glared but said nothing. She was still mad about me not waking her so I could sleep no matter how many times I told her I wasn't tired. Yet again the path crumbled a bit and I temporarily lost my footing. It was a good thing I apparently had good reflexes. "Spirits damn this!"

This time she did speak up "Zuko I will not tolerate talk like that young man! You may be 16 but I'll still give you a good-"

"Shh do you hear that?" I cut her off.

She looked around confused "I don't hear anything. What do _you _hear?"

"Voices. I hear people ahead there might be a camp." Apparently I had above-average hearing too.

"What should we do?" she asked clearly uneasy.

"We don't have a choice but to press forward" I pointed out. I then clenched my fists and headed forward cautiously hearing her edge behind me. We reached a small enclave which had four men rubbing their feet and chatting about their home lives.

"Well lookie here! Trav'lers! Not too many of those come by nowadays" a wrinkly old man with a long gray mustache called to us.

"Our house was burnt down by the Fire Nation. We're headed this way hoping to find a place to stay for the night" I somewhat lied.

"You poor spirits. Them danged Fire Nation bastards deserve to be eaten by a demon" the man grumbled.

"We'll take you to Qui Pong. It's nearby and has decent shelter" a kindly man with dark skin and chestnut hair said with a caring smile.

"Thank you for your generosity" my mother said from behind me.

"Aw shucks it's all we can do to help those in need" the wrinkly old man said.

They got up from their rest and lead us down the path to a mining town. Earthbenders lifted large chunks of coal from a vent into carts and pushed them to a factory nearby.

"There's the inn" the kindly man said. "It doubles as a tavern so be careful."

"We will. Thank you" my mother said with a smile.

We entered the inn/tavern and something in the corner caught my eye.

"_Prince Zuko you have improved greatly. Here let me show you this move…_" a faceless voice said then advised me in the ways of-.

"Pai Sho" I breathed. I whirled around to face my mother "I think I have an idea on how to make money."

She had heard my whisper and said "Pai Sho? Did your uncle teach you?! Do you remember how?!" she realized this was a big opportunity just as I did.

"I don't remember his face but I do remember his teachings" I reassured her.

She debated for a moment then handed me a pouch of coins from the sash around her waist. I walked into the corner and looked curiously at the game as if I didn't know much about it.

A man sitting on a stool behind the board smiled at me slyly and asked "do you know how to play boy?"

"I-I know _some_" I said sounding hesitant.

"Well take a seat. Don't worry I'll go easy on you" the look in his eyes said otherwise. I fought back a sardonic grin. I wasn't as easy a prey as he thought. I sat down and he purred "the guest has the first move." I placed down a tile and the game began.

With the faceless advice in my head our money quadrupled.


	6. Iroh POV 1

**_Chapter 6_**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender**

**I have a Blogger now with teasers posted on it!**

**Out of Mind**

**Iroh POV 1**

I walked down the gangplank shaking my head at my nephew's stubbornness. I don't think he realizes how much I love him to have to deal with _another_ son going through puberty. Combine that with his father's ego issues, mix in a heap of angst and you get_ Prince _Zuko. I sighed in sadness. The poor boy lost his mother at an early age and his father doesn't care at all about him. He never truly had the chance to be a child; he was always too busy trying to live up to his father's expectations. I glared at the image of Ozai burning his own son in my head. No, _I_ am the father Zuko needs but won't accept. I miss Lu Ten and my wife _so much_ but when I was the crown prince and next in line for the throne I made _sure_ Lu Ten was loved.

No matter what I do I know I can't fix Zuko all the way. He is broken and continues to break every day. I never tell him but I sometimes cry when I am alone, mourning for the loss of his innocence. He seems cruel on the outside but I know there is a sad little boy begging to be loved inside. He focuses on the Avatar and I let him because the Avatar is his only hope. Not to gain his father's love, no even capturing the Avatar won't get him that, the Avatar is his hope in general. His purpose for now until he finds his true path. I have a feeling that is the only thing that gets him up every day. The only thing he thinks gives him meaning. I don't want Ozai to get the Avatar for the world's sake but I admit I am selfish by supporting Zuko, my nephew, my son, just to see the spark in his eye when he finds a clue of the trail.

Shaking my head and sighing again Ii continue forward humming "Four Seasons, Four Loves" when **BOOM! **I whirled around and gaped in horror at the sight of Zuko's ship exploding. "ZUKO!" I cried praying to every spirit in existence that he was safe. Running faster than I ever had I got as close to the ship's remains as possible without being burnt. I searched the water franticly but it was too dark to see anything even with the light from the firey ship. Running down the docks in the direction of the current I strained my eyes begging to find him alive in the water. After a long search –too long for him to still be near the docks- I fell to the ground sobbing. _Not another son, please spirits no. _It was then I spotted it: a floating belt to his armor! _He's alive! He's alive enough to remove his armor so he won't drown!_

Grabbing a nearby steam-powered jetski I jumped on and followed the current. By then the sun was starting to rise and the fishermen were setting out for the day. There was one, however, coming _in_ from the sea. I steered the jetski to it and idled it. The fisherman looked to me and asked rudely "what do you want?"

"Did you happen to see a bald teenager in the water?" I asked, hoping I sounded casual and not as desperate as I felt.

"Yeah I saw him. I helped get him on the Earth Kingdom ship. Poor boy needed a medic badly. The salt must have felt horrible on those cuts and burns. He wasn't awake though so he might not have felt it. I hope for his sake he didn't anyway" he added the last part under his breath to himself.

"Earth Kingdom ship you say?" I was relieved he was being treated by a medic. Without the armor he wasn't dressed as Fire Nation since the underclothes were just simple black pants and a shirt. No red or gold involved.

"Yeah a cargo vessel. Headed towards the port in Qui Jong. Not too many ships go there this time of year because of the rough seas let alone Earth Kingdom ships. You're lucky about that since the ship should stick out like a sore thumb at the port. He'll be easy to find."

"Thank you so much" I said fervently and pulled out a gold piece from the money pouch at my side and gave it to him. I guided the jetski back to the shore and went to a boat rental place. Using my status as royalty I secured a vessel swiftly and quickly gathered supplies at the market as well as brown clothes –just in case- the took off until I reached Qui Jong Port. Sure enough I spotted the Earth Kingdom cargo vessel.

When the gangplank was lowered I ran up and burned it then turned to the sailors on the ship. This was the part where I didn't hold back.

"You have two options: tell me what happened with my nephew, or drown in the burning ruins of the ship." I wasn't kidding. Not when it came to Zuko.

"His Nephew?" I heard a man whisper.

"The Dragon of the West" another man responded in fear and awe.

No one made a move so I created a fireball in my palm and said "last chance."

Nervously, a man with tan skin, a bushy beard, and missing teeth spoke up. "I-I healed him. He had mostly superficial injuries but a bump on his head gave him amnesia-"

_Amnesia?!_ I thought in shock.

"-he fought one of our men and won then went to bed. Next thing we know he was trying to steal a lifeboat and supples to escape. We tried to catch him but he dove into the water and swam away."

"Where? Where was this?"

"H-Houng Ji. Near Houng Ji."

Nodding I used rocket flames to lower myself to my boat and took off to Houng Ji. Changing into the brown clothes I went ashore and went into town hoping for news. Crouching behind a vendor's stand I eavesdropped on the conversation of two women.

"Poor Kai Lin. Lost her home to the Fire Nation" a woman murmured sadly.

"I didn't even see any arrive! I heard a rumor she rescued someone from the shore. They must have been wanted so the Fire nation punished her" another added.

_Zuko! This Kai Lin person rescued Zuko! He must have burned down her house._

"I found her strange at first, when she first arrived in town. She was so pale and had such strange yellow eyes" the first woman said.

_Ursa?! It can't be_....

**For those of you who think Iroh is OOC in this chapter please note there are 3 situations in the show where he loses his cool: when spirits are in danger, when the world is in danger, and when Zuko is in danger. Most often he tries to save Zuko from _himself_ but he does help him in fights (like the ones with Azula). We learn much later after this episode takes place when he lost his son Lu Ten he withdrew from battle out of grief. We also later learn after when this takes place he thinks of Zuko as his son. When he confronts Zhao about pirates "killing" Zuko he is like "grr pirates… oh tea!" not sad at all and Zhao buys it when if Zuko was _really _dead he would be distraught. However, when he has a valid excuse to beat up Zhao without giving up that Zuko is alive (the killing of the moon spirit) he totally flips out.**


	7. Backstories

_**Chapter 7**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender**

**I have a Blogger now with teasers posted on it!**

**Out of Mind**

**Backstories**

**Zuko POV (It will always be Zuko POV unless specifically stated otherwise for future reference)**

My mother and I went up to the room we rented. It was like her house only much shoddier and sparser. The mattresses felt like rock and the walls were stained by the smoke from the nearby factory.

She looked around then sighed. "We need to move on this place is very susceptible to raids because of all the coal. Also because all the money you won will make the locals angry."

"We need a map if we're going to continue" I pointed out. "There is probably a good one here because of all the trading that must take place. It should have quick and easy roads to travel" I added.

"A map of trade routes for here will only show so much. It probably won't show past the end of their routes."

"Well then we will follow the map to a larger town to get a bigger one" I added in a 'this is very obvious' voice.

"Don't take that tone with me young man!" she snapped.

I sighed in frustration "I'm not a child anymore. I may not remember anything but I know I'm too old to be treated like one."

"Well until you start acting like an adult I'm going to keep it up" she said with a scowl.

I paused the asked "is this just pent-up mothering issues?"

She sighed and said "maybe. I haven't seen you in years Zuko and I look at you and still see that little boy I had to leave." She sighed again and changed the topic "I know you wouldn't have been able to handle being banished on your own so I bet Iroh was with you."

"Who?" I asked in confusion.

"Your uncle. His name is Iroh. I am eternally in his debt for watching over you. He is most likely the one who taught you Pai Sho."

"He's the voice giving me advice all the time" I breathed out in realization.

"What do you mean" she asked curiously.

"I keep hearing a man's voice giving me advice when I need it. I figured I'm not crazy since the advice is too... _familiar_. I can't picture his face though." I then remembered what she said "Why do you think he was with me?"

"You're banished like I am so you shouldn't have any resources. He is most likely the one who helped give some to you. Ever since your cousin Lu Ten died he seemed to see you like his own son. My guess is he's been a better father to you in your banishment than your real father. Your real father, Ozai, would never have given you advice to help you in times of need" she glared at an unseen man at this. "He… he seemed distant with you no matter how many times I tried to get you to bond. You admired him and wanted to please him. You worked so hard but he never realized how special you are." Her face was sad for a moment until she all but growled "It was just your sister, Azula, the prodigy, he gave his attention to." She let out a sob "I was so worried when I had to leave that you would be shunned completely by him. Before I left I begged Iroh to protect you. He told me I didn't even need to ask." She was sobbing outright now and I awkwardly patted he on the back.

"You make it sound like my father hated me. Like I was a burden to him." It sounded partially like a question and partially like an accusation, to whom I was accusing I didn't know.

"You were never a burden. He just didn't realize that. He… favored Azula and it broke my heart every time she out showed you and you tried to impress him causing him to look disgusted when you didn't do as well. I realized though that you have a good heart and a strong will. You're a fighter. I hate the idea of favoring one of my children but you, Zuko, you were the one I loved more. You weren't perfect but you tried anyway and didn't give up." She smiled sadly at me "Azula may have been the better bender but you were the better fighter. You never backed down and _that _is harder to do than some simple fire tricks."

"Why did you marry him if you hated him? Why did you leave?" I was very curious to know.

"I loved him at first until he changed soon after Azula was born. Your grandfather, Azulan, was getting older and your father decided he wanted the throne. He didn't know how to get it until Iroh lost Lu Ten. He then proposed to Azulan that he take the throne because Iroh was weak with grief. That was his belief not mine by the way. Your grandfather told him that Iroh had lost his son and for proposing that your father take over because of it he your father would have to kill you as punishment." She tensed and said firmly "I couldn't let that happen. I made a plan with your father in which I would assassinate Azulan and make sure your father got the throne thus sparing your life. I won't go into details but it worked and your father banished me instead of having me killed as a sick 'thank you' for helping him acquire the throne." She looked at my stunned face and added "the worst part was how much I missed you and how much I knew you would miss me and think I abandoned you. I got a chance to say a brief goodbye before I felt but you were half asleep so I don't know if you even remembered it at the time."

I was stunned. I just couldn't picture her doing something like that. She didn't seem the violent type. "Did my uncle know?"

She nodded. "He knew and hated it but agreed with me it was the only way. Like I said you were a son to him. We never said it aloud but we both agreed that Ozai was not going to be a benevolent Fire Lord like Iroh would have been and feared that something bad would happen. We were right."

"What do you mean?"

"Your father became a monster from what I heard." Unconsciously her eyes flicked to my scar. "He stepped up the war determined to keep up the ruthlessness of the Fire Nation."

I scowled and digested this information. She sighed and murmured "let's get some sleep. We'll need it for tomorrow."

Nodding I fell onto the rock hard futon and instantly fell asleep.

**Dream mode**

_I was in a room full of people where an unfamiliar man with vague details hissed "yow will learn and suffering will be your teacher. He then punched me with flames in the face. I felt a pain then was suddenly on a ship next to a indistinguishable portly man telling him I needed to capture the Avatar to regain my honor. Next I was in the snow whipping fire at old women and children. I felt no remorse about this but at the same time my mind told me my mother would be disappointed. I was fighting a blurry human-shaped person who kept smacking me with water. Next I couldn't see very well like my face was covered by a mask as I crept through a sewer of some sort. Suddenly I was a little boy and a little girl was taunting me about my father going to kill me. It went black and I woke up to my mother telling me she had to leave and not to forget who I am. Then I was back in the first room with the flames on my face and as I opened my tear-stained eyes I saw the man turning away not caring about my pain. He looked to the little girl who taunted me and smiled with pride although she hadn't done anything to be proud of. I realized I was calling out to him but he didn't turn back or even acknowledge me. Didn't he care?!_

_I heard my mother's voice over my cries "__Ozai, would never have given you advice to help you in times of need. He… he seemed distant with you no matter how many times I tried to get you to bond. You admired him and wanted to please him. You worked so hard but he never realized how special you are."_

_I was on the Earth Kingdom ship then "Did you remember something?" the Captain asked._

"_A flaming fist punching me then pain."_

"_Firebender." The Captain spat. "You're just a child what monster would do that?"_

_I was standing in some ruins looking out at the cliffs the voice of my uncle said "no one has seen the Avatar in a hundred years. Some say he is just a myth."_

_I was in a room with a large table with a map on it kneeling on the floor with a bandage on my face as my father told me I was banished and could only return if I captured the Avatar. I wanted to scream it was impossible. To ask him why I was never good enough. To ask him why he didn't care. I couldn't speak though and left as he dismissed me like I was trash that needed to be removed as quickly as possible. Like I was useless and disgusting and shameful. _Why would he do that? _I wondered. I then realized…it was because he didn't care. He sent me on a wild hoggoose chase giving me false hope for laughs. _

_I was beginning to hate him._

I awoke with a start as I felt someone shaking me. "Zuko wake up! You were having a nightmare" I heard my mother say.

I groaned an opened my eyes sleepily "the sun won't be up for at least another hour. I would know I can feel it."

"I know but we should get ready now so we don't have to hurry later on. I nodded wearily and she looked at me sternly "see what happens when you don't get any sleep at night?"

I scowled "you aren't going to let that go are you?"

"No" she said shortly.

I went outside for her repeatedly to get water for the tiny bath in the room separated by a paper screen. I heated up the coals underneath and let her wash up first. Next I cleaned up. Unfortunately our efforts were mostly pointless since we only had one pair of clothes each. "We need at least another outfit each" I pointed out and she nodded.

We went downstairs and checked out of the room then went to the shops as they opened buying some food that wouldn't go bad quickly. We stopped by a vendor selling scrolls and bought a map. Sure enough it only showed the trade routes. As we were planning to leave I spotted something at a weapons stand. Dual Dao swords. I remembered using them often while not practicing Firebending on the ship. I checked the price and scowled. I had won enough for them but it would seriously deplete my earnings.

My mother noticed my staring. "Li what is it?" she asked using my fake name.

"I want the Dao swords."

"You can use swords?" she asked impressed.

"Yes I remember how. They are expensive but might come in handy."

She debated then said "you're right they might prove to be very useful. Ask to try them out and if you like them we'll get them."

Nodding I went to the shopkeeper. "May I inspect the Dao swords?"

"Sure" he said with a shrug and handed them to me. I checked the quality of the metal as I held them. The weight felt familiar and I remembered some moves. Testing them out I found I liked the familiarity. I checked if they were balanced and noted they were in approval. "I'll take them" I told him.

I paid for them and we consulted the map deciding to go to the largest town ahead. With the welcome weight of the swords on my back we took off.


End file.
